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EoA: Joshua Jordan

Edge of Apocalypse: pages 20-23 (Chapter Four)

At last. We meet the man!

“The private executive helicopter glided high in the night sky over the glittering lights of New York City. Joshua Jordan, the lone passenger, was in the back. Forty-three, square shouldered, athletic, and dressed in an expensive Italian suit, he looked like a man on top of the world. But he didn’t feel that way.”

Walter Groteschele in Fail-Safe at least used taxis when he was in New York commuting to the airport.

Physical description is pretty sparse, but judging from his daughter, we can assume he has dark brown eyes and maybe brown hair, though blond hair can also go with brown eyes. A word about assumptions: it’s a revealing thing about cultural and racial hegemony and privilege that the Jordan family is assumed to be white. I’m certainly guilty of this myself, given that I made assumptions about hair color that depend on phenotypes related to skin color.

However the Biblically chosen names do not omit or obviate the possibility that they’re black, and it would be rather interesting to see how far this takes us if we keep this in mind (though to be very honest, I suspect LaHaye and Parshall are aiming this book at a generally white audience, simply because of sheer numbers).

Now, for the PHONE PORN. πŸ˜€ I’ll spend some time on this because it’s such a massively amusing in-joke among the Left Behind community at Fred Clark’s Slacktivist blog. πŸ™‚

“On a normal evening, heading to his office for late-night work, he’d be paging through his Allfone–checking emails and tabbing through a variety of documents that had been scanned-in for him to review. The digital revolution had finally merged all the major information, communication, and entertainment functions into one platform: a small handheld device that became all things–cell phone, fax sender, two-way Skype video camera, television, radio, and, of course, Internet-accessible computer. The big versions replaced TV sets in the entertainment cabinets of homes across the country. But it was the small handheld units, the top-of-the-line Allfone and its cheaper imitators, that had become the primary personal communication link for the public.

Ordinarily Joshua would have been accessing Fox News, CNN International, GlobalNetNews, BusinessNetwork–anything he needed to stay on top of the economy, politics, business, and world affairs.

On his mini-laptop-sized Allfone, he would be reviewing the headlines from four key publications: The Wall Street Journal, Barons, International Financial Times, and the Daily Economic Forum, while keeping an eye on a second Allfone laptop opened to a graphic of the world, where charts would appear in the four corners and updated data would scroll under the banner ‘Global Risk and Security Assessment.'”

Hell, it’s not just phone porn, it’s electronics porn! Is there anything this Allfone can’t do?

Well, probably clean the kitchen sink.

I love the little shout-out to Left Behind with the “GlobalNetNews” agency there. Readers of the books will recall the newsmagazine called Global Weekly.

And as is par for the course for the POV characters in LaHaye-sponsored books, there is nothing less than the best. Joshua has the best Allfone in the world, natch. All of a piece with his jet-set, hi-falutin’ lifestyle. What’s interesting to observe here is that the same patterns of mistaking the trappings of success for the actuality of it are manifesting in Edge of Apocalypse. Jordan’s helicopter, Allfone, and family (more of which I’ll discuss below) mean very little if the man who uses them isn’t believably capable of warranting them, and to be perfectly honest, this would not have worked in the 1960s.

In the 1960s, a person with this Gilded Age lifestyle would probably have met with subtle social disapproval at the way he was purposely cordoning himself off from the rest of humanity. Today, in the 2000s and 2010s, cultural shifts have led to the point where it is acceptable, even considered desirable, for rich people to actively segregate themselves from the mass of humanity. In short, this lifestyle would have clanged against social attitudes in a readership far more attuned to egalitarian concepts than today’s readership.

It’s worth thinking about how literature, even bad literature, mirrors social changes.

To move on, we discover that Mr. Jordan has had his share of action-packed adventures:

“He had served America as an Air Force test pilot and secret reconnaissance officer flying in some of the world’s hottest spots. Now he was serving the U.S. as a defense contractor. But in the light of catastrophic current events, that wasn’t enough for Joshua. So he and several others had begun an audacious new venture. Under normal conditions all of that would have been bouncing around his head like a pinball.”

Again, what’s being hinted at is the stuff on the back cover – a possible true missile defence shield. And we learn Joshua isn’t afraid to be the take-charge kind of guy – much like Rayford Steele is portrayed as the take-charge, full-steam-ahead head of the Tribulation Force.

Now for what I see as a particularly bad way to structure the presentation of the people important to the main character. Maybe it’s a gender-roles thing again, but I personally find it rather annoying, and since it sticks in my craw a bit, I’m going to belabor the point a little.

Consider this: Up to this very paragraph, is there any indication that Joshua Jordan’s family had more than three members?

Zip. None. Nunca. Nada. Zero. Nyet.

You’d think maybe Abigail might have just maybe possibly given passing thought to her son?!?

‘Cause that’s exactly the lil extra piece of information we get in this chapter. And oddly like Babylon Rising, this guy’s son, named Cal Jordan, seems to have gone off the beaten track. Actually, at first I assumed the kid was gay, but that’s too daring for the likes of LaHaye and Parshall.

“But this wasn’t a normal evening. Joshua couldn’t get yesterday’s conversation with his son, Cal, out of his head. Why did he have to blast his son like that? All Cal wanted was to talk about changing his college major. What was the big deal? He’d already accepted the fact that Cal wanted to go to Liberty University; after all it was a good school, and maybe Cal wasn’t cut out for the military.”

If you read up to this point you’d probably agree that the guy was one of those artistes like Guy Blod, who’s the closest to an actual homosexual as portrayed in the Left Behind books.

Now, as I understand the American culture vis-a-vis the military, going into such “country-protecting” pursuits is often highly-valued among Christian families, and even among non-fundamentalists family traditions can play a role in the decision to join the armed forces.

So in one sense, the lack of joining the military would be a coded shout-out that this kid is Not One Of Us, because clearly he’s not defending his nation.

However, the twist is this: “But Cal was different. He’d turned down the military academy and said he wanted to go to a Christian college. ”

Ah-ha! Redeemed after all, right? πŸ˜›

The book goes on to blabber a bit more about the religion aspect, portraying the Jordans as wavering believers-of-sorts, kind of like Joe and Jane Average in the USA who’ve been exposed to some sort of religious influence (i.e. a childhood church attendance, etc):

“So there was also that religious issue that Joshua had to deal with. Cal, like his mother, Abigail, and even Debbie, had all said at different times that they had become ‘born again Christians.’ Joshua just couldn’t see the whole Christian thing, at least not for himself. But he had worked hard at trying to support Cal’s decision about college. Now that Cal was in his second year at Liberty, Joshua had settled into the idea.”

I’m trying not to bring up Left Behind comparisons too much, but in some ways this guy is like Rayford Steele’s wax mould recast into another person. Ol’ Rafe, we recall, was one of those “I’ll go along with what Irene says just to keep her happy but I don’t really go in for that happy-clappy stuff myself” folks presented as the sort of half-Christian unbeliever who shall be … LEFT BEHIND.

I made a mention of gender roles previously, as well as the problem of exposition. While I appreciate that LaHaye and Parshall are aiming for a sort of symmetry between mother/daughter and father/son exposition, I find it a little annoying that no way, no where, is Cal mentioned in the Abigail chapter. I feel it could have been worked a lot more smoothly in terms of introducing the family. The other thing is that there seems to have been an attempt to invert the traditional male/female roles for son and daughter. Note that “[e]ven Debbie, his precious little girl, was at West Point now”. But Cal’s the oddball, the one who shies away from the military and goes to a university and talks of Bible college.

Of interest as well is the fact that Cal’s name is the one non-Biblically derived name chosen for the members of the family quartet.

Actually, I spoke too soon. Apparently, either Cal isn’t quite ready yet for Bible college, or this “Liberty University” is one darn progressive Christian university:

“That was until this morning when Cal told him he was switching majors. From engineering to art. Just one more of his son’s decisions that seemed to collide with common sense.”

Damn, so he’s that gay artist type after all.

I don’t want to make too much of the way cultural tropes can be used as a shorthand, but these books written under LaHaye’s aegis do seem to go in for that sort of thing, where certain stock character types are used to telegraph the “I’m OK, you’re OK” sense of community among the intended readership. Joshua is the very heterosexually ex-military male marrying a wife who dutifully gives up her intended profession to sire a patriotic daughter who’ll give him no trouble at all, and then sires this oddball kid who doesn’t know what he wants, and worst of all…

Takes after his mother.

You can almost hear the dun-dun-DUN when you read this part of the paragraph:

“Joshua loved his son more than anything, more than life itself. He just didn’t understand him. Cal was so much like his mother, and, yes, Joshua envied him for that. Was that it? Was it envy? That even though Cal, like his father, believed that flag and country were important, what he really wanted was to bury himself in oil paints and canvas and shut out the world?”

So after the half-hearted nod to Cal’s all-Americanism, it’s back to the like-his-mommy thing. And this is another shorthand used to telegraph the shared culture among the readership, since rigid enforcement of gender roles and the assumed inferiority of children taking after the mother rather than the father, particularly if they’re male, is a staple of the Promise-Keeper-type mentality the book is pandering to.

We also see a repeat of the male-analytical, female-emotional paradigm that has long since been discredited:

“It was one of the things he loved about Abby. She had been a brilliant lawyer, and yet she could also turn off the analytical side, the duty and legal side, and bury herself in a book or an art gallery, losing herself in the nuances of color and texture and light.”

It’s heavily hinted there that she did what a Good Woman does, which is to give up an independent career to be her man’s servant. Consider the prayer she shouts out: it’s for her man to survive. She’s of secondary importance.

Anyway, I’ve pretty much hammered to death the problems of jarring literary exposition (O HAI, SON HERE, NO WARNING) and the underlying assumptions that have gone into the discussion of the family (artiste!), so let’s have some more phone porn.

“The ring of a cell phone suddenly broke Joshua’s train of thought. He checked the personal phone function on his handheld Allfone. But it wasn’t ringing and showed no incoming calls. He realized that this ring tone was the heavy metallic one.

He thrust his hand into his suit-coat pocket and retrieved another phone. This one was flat and wide, colored a deep shade of blue. It was a specially encrypted satellite phone designed only for high-level secure conversations. It didn’t ring often. But when it did there was an emergency. The scramble-your-jets kind.

Joshua hit the encryption filter button and answered. ‘Joshua Jordan.'”

Upon reading this carefully, it seems like LaHaye and Parshall got so wrapped up in the technical delights of this Allfone thing that they forgot to try and word stuff without it sounding clunky as all hell; consider “But it wasn’t ringing and showed no incoming calls. He realized that this ring tone was the heavy metallic one.”

It might have been better for them to say “Upon hearing a heavy metallic ring-tone, Joshua automatically reached for his Allfone before realizing that he needed to use his other phone.”

Speaking of which – damn, this guy not only has a top-flight Allfone, they gave him an even fancier piece of gadgetry with built-in encryption and all that jazz? I get that it makes sense in context (him being a highly paid consultant on top-secret government projects, etc) but it seems like this was set up more just for the chance to show off Josh’s fancy electronic gizmos.

Now, a word on the military; I’m not sure if addressing Jordan by rank is appropriate, but that’s what happens:

“‘Colonel Jordan,’ said a voice after a half second of descrambling. ‘This is Major Black, adjunct to the Joint Chiefs, sir, in R&D at the Pentagon. We’ve talked before.’

‘Yes, Major.’

‘We have a status red.’

Joshua paused for a millisecond as he felt his chest tighten.”

Nitpicky blogger is nitpicky: I don’t think humans can even sense thousandths-of-seconds time intervals with any accuracy. Tenths, yes. But surely not thousandths!

We learn that Joshua’s secret project is apparently a way to redirect incoming missiles out of harm’s way, and possibly send them on a reverse path to their origin:

“‘North Korean. Taepo Dong missiles. Which means they should have a guidance system compatible with your RTS-RGS protocol.’

The RTS-RGS system, formally known as the Return-to-Sender-Reconfigured-Guidance System, was the antiballistic laser system Joshua and his team had been developing for the better part of ten years. It was still considered experimental and scheduled for its first real-world test next month.”

Even though it is billed as a “laser” based system, the name of this thing strikes me as the kind of “huk huk huk aren’t we just so COOL?” thinking among people who get more tickled pink at the techno-geekery of being able to bounce a nuclear bomb back to the country it came from and completely overlooking the very natural extremely pissed-off national leadership of the country whose bomb just blew up a city in their own country.

Since international relations tend to be dominated by the backing of force, and thus tends to work largely along the level of adolescent children, the same impotent rage and frustration felt by a child who keeps dealing with the jackass who grabs his arms, punches the child with his own arms and then gets mockingly told “Hey, stop punching yourself, huh?” is the kind of set of emotions felt by those who have had a nuke bounced back at them.

It may not be rational at all to feel this, but it’s a pretty sure bet that this would be the outcome, provoking either sullen recalcitrance from the bombing nation, or an even more fervent attempt to sneak a nuclear bomb in somehow.

The bottom line is that this defence system seems more like a provoke-people system; instead of simply harmlessly deactivating nuclear bombs in flight, or, say, bouncing them off to outer space (although the danger of an EMP shattering a hemisphere’s communications networks would be a real issue if the bomb went off in the ionosphere), it’s billed as Return to Sender.

The end of this chapter leads us up to the same time interval as Abigail and Deborah’s:

“Joshua felt his heart stop. Cal should be clear of New York by now. He should be sitting on a train on his way back to college. But Abigail and Deb were in the city. Maybe they could still get to safety…

‘How much time?’ he choked out the words.

‘Estimated detonation over Manhattan is fourteen minutes.’

Joshua’s mouth dried up as though he’d swallowed sand. ‘Please tell me we’ve got back-up options to interdict those missiles.’

‘We’ve scrambled our jets, but they may not make it in time. The rest of our Eastern Seaboard missile system has been handicapped since the White House tied us to the Six-Party Missile-Defense Treaty. You and your system may be our last hope. So let’s just pray your little jammer can kick those two footballs back where they came from. If not, God help us all.'”

Going back to front in the last paragraph, we see a nod to the readership, who are probably inwardly grinning at the “God help us all” phrase, usually an empty setphrase uttered in a moment of crisis, because depending on interpretation this missile launch and redirect could be the literal expression of God’s help, by means of “inspired helpers”.

The RTS system is definitely interpreted by the Major as an actual “missile return” system and not a laser shootdown system.

Note the politically-coded phraseology – “tied us to the treaty”. As a Canadian, I have been a student and front-row-seat observer of the ways in which American exceptionalism manifests itself over and over. This is especially an important point when this exceptionalist ideology intersects with fundamentalist Christian theology, which presents itself and its members as part of a Real True Christianity, the hallmarks of the special ones, the chosen ones.

And unlike in Harry Potter, the Chosen One is not under a terrible duty, a terrible task that he must complete. The chosen onesΒ  of RTCism pretend to themselves that they are under immediate threat of persecution and extinguishment, when in actual fact their faith is given an unofficial secular imprimatur of legitimacy over and above other faiths in the United States.

So the shout-out to those who believe the USA should not be bound by any treaties or promises, even those made by the country’s leaders to begin with – that’s another nod to the shared cultural context assumed by the authors about their readers.

Finally, surprisingly, LaHaye and Parshall seem to have calculated the missile trajectory from the North Korean vessel fairly accurately. I recall reading that the US-Soviet trajectories were such that basically, from missile launch to detonation you might, at best, have half an hour – and maybe not even that.

So fourteen minutes seems realistic here. Props for that.

Next chapter we’ll visit with Cal Jordan.


21 thoughts on “EoA: Joshua Jordan

  1. In the Left Behind movies, Buck works for GNN.

    To go into the Army or to go to Bible College. Oh, the decisions that face a young RTC man!

    I guess Cal is RTC-gay, i.e. the gayest a person can be while still being someone an RTC wouldn’t spit on in the street. Which isn’t very.

    Joshy-boy has two Allfones of his own (“while keeping an eye on a second Allfone laptop opened to a graphic of the world”), plus the encrypted one which I guess might be a boring old satellite phone that doesn’t also solve world hunger*.

    * How does an RTC solve world hunger? “Let them hold a prayer breakfast.”

    Thank you for getting EMP right. So many people don’t.

    Sending the missiles back where they came from means… setting off nuclear weapons a few tens of miles off the Eastern Seaboard. Actually that’s not too bad, something in the TLAM-N class, up to around 150kt yield, sea level detonation… only about a 5km radius of serious harm. The USN task force that was shadowing the DPRK ship is going to have a pretty bad day, though.

    And I’m sorry, but I remain unconvinced by this fourteen minute thing. As I said before, a Silkworm would cover the distance in about four or five minutes, and other cruise missiles would be pretty similar. If it’s supposed to be an actual ballistic missile – which you’d launch off a sub, not a surface ship** – then, well, the half an hour would be for something travelling a fair fraction of the way round the world. This is more like a depressed-trajectory shot, something the Soviets were suspected of planning as a first strike tactic: sail your boomers up close to the target and let loose as a decapitation strike on (e.g.) Washington DC. That would take between seven and twelve minutes from launch to impact with the Soviet missiles of the 1970s.

    ** In fact it would make a whole lot more sense if the Korean ship were a boomer. The DPRK loves submarines, and has a lot more of them than of any other sort of ship; and it would explain how the thing got off the coast of the USA without being thoroughly shadowed. Yes, boomers are hard to build and operate, and they’d probably be tracked by the USN even so, but it would be a tougher job than for this surface ship that’s being posited.

    And hey, if it’s a ballistic missile, “jets” won’t be able to do a damned thing. Up very fast, down very fast, boom. It would be rather like catching a re-entering satellite.

    Sorry, I know I’m hacking away at the militaria here, but I enjoy well-written military fiction and in part I’m doing this to show just how easy it is to do the research.

    As for American exceptionalism… I don’t think they ever argue that a president should break a treaty that he signed himself. Do they? I haven’t met it, anyway. But certainly that he shouldn’t sign treaties, and shouldn’t be bound by treaties signed by earlier administrations…

    • The bitter hatred they seem to have for ANY international treaty the US is party to is amazing. Even the Clinton Administration went along with the exceptionalist thing to an extent, trying to negotiate in opt-outs on friggin’ LAND MINES when 160 other countries agreed to stop using them completely instead of whittling at the edges here and there.

      Regarding militaria generally – I defer to your judgement on the missile-launch thing. πŸ™‚ I’m willing to give L & P a pass on the missiles only because they seem to have basically botched so much of the rest of it.

      I also agree that the DPRK vessel would make a LOT more sense as a submarine. It even sort of felt like one iniitially, but then it kind of seemed to get mushed into a battleship. I don’t know if they really sat down and decided “will this be a state-of-the-art new SHIP or SUBMARINE?” and settled on one. The question of the hard currency spent on the computers for that thing is another one altogether. πŸ˜€

      • So on the time-thing. I’m unclear, maybe I missed something in my reading. Are the missles being physically launched from the ship, or is the ship giving commands to launch missles from silos in N. Korea? If the former, yes, the fourteen minute thing seems way too long. If the latter, then it might be reasonable. (My assumption from the way it read was that the missles were on the ship – but not sure if that’s right. I would think there would be a lot of problems launching a nuclear missle from a ship, but maybe I’m wrong…)

        • I think the description of the Daedong as “a sleek long-range North Korean missile launcher” and “designed to launch weapons of mass destruction” is what I’m working off here.

          The Soviets certainly built plenty of sea-launched nuclear missiles, both ballistic (from their boomers) and sea-skimming. It’s not the same design task as a ground- or air-launched missile, but it’s certainly not impossible.

  2. Fun review!

    One small complaint, though: “Since international relations tend to be dominated by the backing of force, and thus tends to work largely along the level of adolescent children…”

    We should be LUCKY to have international relations get up to the level of adolescents. In my experience, they stay pretty consistently at the kindergarten level, with the occasional flash of grade-school level maturity.

  3. WARNING–Ruby is about to read waaaay too much into something (probably).

    The name Cal, like so many names LaHaye felt a bit jarring, a bit old-fashioned. There is a Cal in my family tree, but born in the 1920’s. Cal being short for Clarence.

    So I thought, maybe Clarence has some biblical significance, like Deborah and Joshua. It does not appear to, HOWEVER…

    Clarence Larkin was a well-known writer on Dispensationalism and made just the sort of handy-dandy little charts that LaHaye loves so much…



    • That’s a strange author-avatar character. But hey, maybe Cal gets “redeemed” later on. The chapter that introduces him delves a bit into who he is and what he’s thinking, and I’m sure the rest of the book will have more later. LaHaye seems to like to have two author avatars; in Left Behind, Rayford Steele and Tsion Ben-Judah (as well as Pastor Billings) seem to form the various facets of who LaHaye would like to be – head of a sprawling Trib Force, and religious expositor to billions.

      So maybe Joshua is his usual Very Male Boss Dude avatar, and Cal will be his preacher avatar. πŸ™‚

    • “Clarence Larkin was a well-known writer on Dispensationalism and made just the sort of handy-dandy little charts that LaHaye loves so much…”

      Funny you should mention him. I read his “Dispensational Truth” a few years back. WHAT. A. SLOG! He does the “Skip verse 10*” thing so often that I was more confused *after* reading it than before. And, no; the charts *don’t* help…

      *Finally got the XHTML thing on this site working! Yay me!

  4. Suggestion: maybe “Cal” will turn out to be “Caleb” instead of Clarence or Calvin. Caleb as in the guy from the Bible who was second only to Joshua in the conquest of Canaan.

    There’s hope for the boy yet.

    • Pardon the double comment, but I just looked up Caleb to make sure I hadn’t misremembered, since it’s been a while since I’ve spent any time with the Book of Numbers. And I a reminded that one of Caleb’s main claims to fame is that he was the spy who provided accurate intelligence to the Israelites about the pre-Conquest state of Canaan– and he wasn’t believed, thus delaying the conquest for years.

      So we have Joshua the warleader, Deborah the warrior judge, and Caleb the military spy. Abigail the handmaiden does seem to be a little out of place here, doesn’t she?

  5. I’m sorry, but all I could think of when I heard the name Cal Jordan was wondering if he was a man without fear, and wondering when Abin Sur would show up to give him the Power Ring. (Yeah, I know it was Hal, not Cal, but still…)

    • Good call. And this is the sort of thing that would be cured by running a story (and possible character names) by other people.

      Heck, I am not a big comic person, and even I know who Hal Jordan is. πŸ˜€

  6. In some books when characters are shown to dwell so obsessively on their possessions the authors are making a point about consumerism in current society. Joshua, in the little we have seen of him so far, is an advertising agency’s wet dream. Reading this, so far, is like reading the first few chapters of a dystopic science fiction novel in which we come to realize that corporations have taken over the world and human beings have no role except as consumers.

  7. hmmm, thinking more on my last post. I think that one can argue that the consumerist attitude actually fits well with RTCism. For the RTCs of the books we have been discussing, becoming ‘saved’ is closer to a purchase than it is to a genuine conversion. The converted does not arrive at the point of conversion through thoughtful wrestling with ideas, through research or real argument. They ‘receive’ enlightenment and then they take on the mantle of RTCism even to the point of immediately talking like a lifelong RTC than a convert. Think also about the obsession with surface conformity that one sees among such people (comfortable shoes etc) that indicates that they are a people obsessed with surfaces.

    It reminds me of the old style Calvinists — the ones who believed that the only way of knowing you were a member of the elect was if your life looked like the life of a member of the elect.

    • I wonder if that’s why LaHaye and coauthors often give their characters such luxuries even when it’s incongruous – like the bigass steel enclosed building with 50 SUVs all gassed up and ready to go. It’s these trappings that reassure them and their readers that God provides to those “worthy” of it.

      • I think it is also why they HAVE to invoke an apocalypse. Since their protagonists have so many material goods the arc of the story cannot be ‘poor man finds god and god leads him to wealth’ hence you have ‘wealthy man has goods that cannot protect him from the end and god steps in.’

        Ironically,it may be easier for many Americans to suspend reality and imagine the end is coming tomorrow than it is to believe that the poor can truly become rich.

  8. I’m a bit bemused that you missed the obvious “Ecce homo” joke for the post title.

    Is it just me, or does this “Allfone” give off a bit of a creepy vibe? I’m surprised that JJ doesn’t have one implanted in his eyeball.

    As-You-Know-Bob, there really is a “Liberty University” Christian college, an outgrowth of good old Jerry Falwell’s mega-ministry. The second Bush administration did a lot of recruiting among its graduates.

    They even offer Engineering and Art majors, although the latter (assuming it’s “Visual Arts”) is a B.S. (literally) degree in the School of Communications, which seems aimed at creating advertising and P.R. execs.

    Maybe that’s what the authors think that “Art” *is*.

    • Being insufficiently Latin-acculturated, I had to Google that phrase you used, and it is quite oddly appropriate.

      Re the Liberty University info…

      Actually, I did not know that. I’m surprised they’re aiming for some realism! :O (though the idea of engineering being taught on Christian principles is a bit bizarre in my mind)

    • Holy crap, hapax, just wait till I start Soon–people’s phones are implanted in their heads and you dial by touching your fingers together!!

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